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Politeness and Formality in English: Do’s and Don’ts

  • Admin LinguaElite
  • Mar 18
  • 3 min read

Politeness and formality play a big role in English conversations, especially in professional and social settings. Knowing when to use formal versus informal language can help you communicate clearly and respectfully. Here’s a guide on the do’s and don’ts for polite language in English, covering everything from greetings to goodbyes.



1. Greetings: Setting the Tone


Polite/Formal Greetings

  • Do: Use formal greetings like “Good morning,” “Good afternoon,” or “Good evening” in professional settings or when meeting someone for the first time.

  • Example: “Good morning, Ms. Johnson. How are you today?”


Casual/Informal Greetings

  • Do: In casual settings, “Hi,” “Hey,” or “Hello” is usually fine, especially with friends or family.

  • Example: “Hey, how’s it going?”

  • Don’t: Use overly casual greetings in formal settings. Saying “What’s up?” or “Hey there” might come across as unprofessional in a workplace or formal meeting.



2. Making Requests Politely


Polite Requests

  • Do: Use phrases like “Could you…,” “Would you mind…,” or “Would it be possible to…” to make requests politely. This softens the tone and shows respect.

  • Example: “Could you please send me the report by Friday?”


Casual Requests

  • Do: In casual situations, “Can you…?” or “Can I get…?” is perfectly acceptable.

  • Example: “Can you pass me the salt?”

  • Don’t: Be too direct in formal situations. Phrases like “Give me…” or “I need…” may come across as demanding or impolite.



3. Saying “Thank You”


Polite Expressions of Gratitude

  • Do: Say “Thank you very much,” “I really appreciate it,” or “I’m very grateful” in formal settings. Adding “for your help/time” can also show extra appreciation.

  • Example: “Thank you very much for your assistance with the project.”


Casual Thanks

  • Do: Simply saying “Thanks!” or “Thanks a lot!” is perfect in friendly, informal settings.

  • Example: “Thanks for the lift!”

  • Don’t: Skip the “thank you” altogether! In English, showing gratitude is expected, and not saying it can be perceived as rude.


Three businesspeople in suits stand outside a modern building. Two men shake hands while a woman holds a folder, looking pleased.


4. Apologising Respectfully


Formal Apologies

  • Do: Use phrases like “I apologise,” “I’m very sorry for…,” or “Please accept my apologies” in formal contexts.

  • Example: “I apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused.”


Casual Apologies

  • Do: A simple “Sorry about that!” or “My bad!” works well with friends or in informal situations.

  • Example: “Oops, my bad—I didn’t realise you needed that.”

  • Don’t: Be overly casual when apologising in professional settings. Phrasing like “Oops” or “My bad” may come across as insincere or unprofessional.



5. Saying Goodbye Politely


Polite Goodbyes

  • Do: Use “Goodbye,” “Take care,” or “Have a nice day” for formal farewells, especially in emails or when parting ways in professional environments.

  • Example: “Thank you for your time. Goodbye and have a great day.”


Casual Goodbyes

  • Do: For friends or informal settings, “Bye,” “See ya,” or “Catch you later” is common and friendly.

  • Example: “See ya! Let’s catch up soon.”

  • Don’t: Use overly casual goodbyes, like “Later” or “Peace,” in formal situations. These expressions are generally reserved for close friends and relaxed environments.



6. Avoiding Direct Commands


Polite Suggestions

  • Do: Frame commands as suggestions, like “Could we possibly…” or “Would it be alright if we…?” This makes requests sound collaborative and respectful.

  • Example: “Could we possibly move the meeting to Thursday?”


Casual Commands

  • Do: With friends or family, being direct is usually fine. “Let’s…” or “How about we…” is friendly and easygoing.

  • Example: “Let’s grab lunch!”

  • Don’t: Use direct commands in formal settings, as this can sound demanding. Phrases like “You should…” or “Do this…” may be perceived as rude or bossy.



Understanding these do’s and don’ts for polite language in English will help you navigate different social and professional settings smoothly. Whether you’re in a casual conversation or a formal meeting, these tips will guide you in showing respect and consideration for those you’re speaking with.


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